Love always.

So that time of the year has sprung upon me once again, it’s about a week and a half before finals. Meaning that summer is right on it’s way, which means needing a job and making decisions for my summer plans.

I am absolutely overwhelmed with the fact that I have a giant sociology test I HAVE to do well on tomorrow morning and am currently running out of brainpower as we speak. I need to go home, take a nap, regain energy and spend a night in the library going at it. It’s a shame that once I get through this test that my load will barely be lightened. Then I have an 8-10 research paper to write, 5 journal entries to do, a newspaper article, a news article to write, canvas online participation and then another paper to write. Once I get all that under my belt, I’ll only need to start actually studying for the real finals themselves. Yeah none of those are actually my finals. 

Oh and my application for the UVU Review newspaper staff is due on Monday. I’ve only already been rejected twice for an assistant editor position…. Not only do I need the editing/editor experience for my career and for my resume. I also need half of my tuition paid for so my parents can get off my back financially.

To them, this summer is all about working full time and making and saving as much money as possible. To me, I want this summer to be about spending quality time with friends, avoiding getting sick at all costs, enjoying all my time in the world with tanner, doing an internship and being on newspaper. I understand that I need to financially contribute to my expenses and that shouldn’t all be on my parents shoulders but all I want is this internship at acceleration. I want to go to california in between semesters with Tanner. I want to go home for a couple weeks in July for Hannah’s wedding. I want to actually see my best friend. I want to go on a cruise with my friends. I want to work on the paper and let that be my job. Second half of summer and fall i’m willing to get a job but right now. I don’t want the stress of that.

I first have to await if I even get the internship or an assistant editor position, but that’s all I really want right now. I don’t want to be stressed out about money. I don’t want to go work at Nordstrom in Murray and work on sundays and spend all that time and gas commuting. I don’t want to work at Nordstrom in Salt Lake and drive even further and have to stay night’s in Salt Lake. 

I just want everything to work itself out and not be so stressed. I feel like I am on the verge of a psychotic break down and don’t like it a bit. Please fast forward time to April 26….

I seriously have some of the best and most amazing friends that I could ever ask for. Like I know everyone says this, but I know that I have the right and best friends for me that will never fail me. There are certain people I have met more recently and there are people that I’ve journeyed with through time and through lots of different things. I just wanted to give a shot out to some of the most incredible people I know.

• Kellie Lynn Standish
• Ellen Theresa Peterson
• Madison Jae Arnold
• Jody Kae Baughman
• Kaitlin Barton
• Shardae Tengberg
• Stephanie Quick

All of these people lift me up when I’m down and when i’m up. I know that I can trust them with anything and everything and I have so much fun with them regardless of what we’re doing. I love all of you. So much. 

I know it also doesn’t matter how often you see someone or even how consistently you talk to someone. It’s about not seeing or talking for long periods of time and that next moment you see one another it’s like nothing has changed and there’s never an awkward moment.

Xoxo.

(via makemenotproud)

So I’m not necessarily that girl that has had my wedding planned out my whole life and have always had the whole thing envisioned. I am quite the opposite. I barely think of it besides seeing things on Pinterest or being bombarded by wedding stuff from all the wedding’s occurring in Utah 24/7, but I have things I know I won’t do at my wedding and decided it’s about time I compile all of them in one place.

• I will not have a wedding dress that’s pleated anywhere.
• I will not have my wedding reception in a church cultural hall.
• All of my bridesmaids will not have unmatching outfits. They will have the exact same dresses or pencil skirts/blouses. So much classier looking.
• I will not have a rose gold/champagne colored ring.
• I will not get married anywhere besides the Seattle temple with the one exception of the San Diego temple because of how beautiful it is.
• I will not have the cliche wedding ring cut every girl in Provo I know has.
• I will not get married in Utah or have a wedding reception in Utah unless my husband is from here.
• I will not have my hair in an up-do. It will be down in ringlet curls with probably a middle part and braids involved.
• I will not have eyelash extensions for my engagements, bridals or for the actual day. I will never have extensions period….
• I will not go on a cruise for my honeymoon.

I know there are more things i’ve thought of, but just thought i’d finally lay out some of my thoughts to refer back to and see all written out!

I know i’m going to stay up all night coughing and I can’t help but tumble out my emotions in multiple posts because it’s the one place I feel save to rant and rave and share my inner most thoughts and feelings because I can’t be judged on here. I feel safe with the people who follow me and have access to this, and feel as though it’s not immature to share how i’m feeling because I know exactly who will see it vs. if i were to post these things on facebook or twitter, it would be a completely different feeling. I hope everyone can bear with me for the night! I have been lacking in my posts for the past few months anyways…